And He Was Gone... (Zimah)

I had my EAS Finals today and on a scale of 1 to 10, it was a freaking 15! It definitely beat Mathematics who scored a 12 on the scale in the competition on which paper was harder. The topics were about the White Stripes, Titanic and novel about The Colour Purple or something like that... I couldn't remember. =P I chose the first two and the Titanic one was really tough... It had only a few figures of speech so there wasn't much I could work with. My exam ended at 10 and since I didn't have any more exams after that, I went home. Good luck to those taking Physics! But then I heard the loudest unimaginable growl from the pit of my stomach. haha~ I was hungry as I skipped dinner to sleep early and breakfast as I was late. My dad laughed but was tired to bring me to any restaurant but being a parent, he offered to take me to the Warung next to school.

There wasn't any students so it felt a bit weird being there. The guy who worked there, who was usually the biggest grouch on the face of this planet was being unusually nice... Okay. Weird. I think it had something with the 4 Pinoy Mamasitas sitting there. My rice wasn't prepared as soon as I ordered it but was pre made and was stacked on the counter. I guess their business wasn't as booming as before when everyone didn't have exams. So I entered my Dad's car, put my seatbelt on and opened the Styrofoam container. I was famished! My Dad said something about doing something tomorrow, Friday and I did a double take. Today was Thursday! Don't blame me for loosing track of time, I had a lot going on! I find it ironic that it was Thursday and that I went to the Warung. Why? Remember how I would spend my Thursday PS at the Warung? Yeah, that's why. The last time I remember being there with my PS mates was... The day before Saidi stopped school.

(Sigh) Today's exam had distracted me from Saidi's absence. I couldn't help but wonder if he's okay in UK. I bet he has jet lag. Then after finishing my rice my mind drifted to Tuesday. 26th August scarred me. I wasn't able to attend Saidi's take off. Things had gotten complicated. I was upset that I couldn't come, it killed me. Qieb called me that day, at around 6.20 asking if I was coming. I told her in a strained voice, no. Maybe it was for the better or maybe not... It was loud in the airport and I could barely hear what she was saying but I did hear her ask if I wanted to talk to Saidi for the last time before he goes. Now I wasn't sure about it, I was already on the edge, I could fall any time to the long drop below. I agreed anyway and I was very overwhelmed, tears started pouring. Qieb told me that it might take a while for Saidi to talk. That's good, I would have time to compose myself.

When I heard his voice, I tried to sound happy but my voice cracked and composure flew out of the window just like how my tears splashed uncontrollably down my face. There wasn't much talking on both sides as I cried and apologised while he just listened. Choking back a sob I told him to take care and he gave me a few advice before he hung up. Then when I could finally cool down, I texted Qieb to tell Saidi the message that couldn't leave my lips. The usual I miss yous and etcetera. Tears kept running down my face and I prayed hard for his safety. ...Don't look at me like that. =.= I do pray, seriously. I just do it in the sanctuary of my bedroom. I have a thing about praying in public places. As I glanced at the clock which showed 7.40, the dam burst open. It was torture not seeing him in his last few hours in Brunei. I called Qieb at 8 asking how it went. I could feel the hoarseness and sadness in her voice. She told me how it was a happy yet sad moment when he turned and waved to everyone for the last time. Everyone was crying without me to start the fire this time. I would have given anything to be there.

The next day, everyone was talking about his departure and the bitter-sweet moments. I just stayed quiet, I didn't have a say in anything. People kept asking why I couldn't make it. I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I would have killed some random guy for his car keys and driven to the airport if I could. I would. After Chemistry Finals, Qieb filled me in on everything yesterday. I just smiled a sad smile and wiped the lone tear. Then I was startled by my father who woke me. We had arrived at home and I thought it was about time that I blogged.